Course · 4 steps
Special days and hard days
The days that matter can bring grief rushing back, sometimes for weeks before. Planning ahead, together, makes them easier to face.
Before a birthday, anniversary, holiday, Mother's or Father's Day, or going back to school.
About one step a week is a good pace, but go at your child's speed.
Planning the days that matter
Knowing a hard day is coming, and having a plan for it, takes away some of the dread.
Things to talk about
- Mark the days that matter on a calendar together: their birthday, the anniversary, holidays.
- Ask: “How would you like to remember them on that day?”
- Let your child know it's OK to feel happy on special days too.
When hard days come
Hard days don't only come on dates. A song, a smell or a school event can bring grief back. Children need a plan for those moments.
In your child's space
Looking after me (4 short parts)Unlock to openTogether
No workshop this step. The talking is the together part.
Things to talk about
- Make a plan with your child for a hard moment at school: who to tell, where to go.
- Ask: “What helps most when you suddenly miss them?”
- Talk to school about upcoming dates, like Mother's or Father's Day activities.
On the day
A small, planned way to remember gives a special day shape and meaning, instead of a cloud of sadness.
In your child's space
A letter to someone who died (10 min)Paint a memory stone (6 min)Draw it (10 min)Things to talk about
- Do the thing you planned, however small: a candle, a visit, their favourite meal.
- Ask: “If you could tell them one thing today, what would it be?”
- Look after yourself too. It's OK for your child to see you sad, and to see you cope.
After the day
Children sometimes feel low after a special day, or surprised that it was easier than they feared. Talking it through helps.
In your child's space
All my feelings (5 short parts)Unlock to openTogether
Our memory jar (25 min)Things to talk about
- Ask: “How was the day for you? What was the hardest bit, and was there a good bit?”
- Tell your child what you'd like to do the same, or differently, next time.
- Add a memory from the day to your memory jar.