School pack · PSHE leads and class teachers

Lesson plans on loss and change

Three ready-to-teach PSHE lessons: KS1 life cycles, KS2 feelings and change, KS3 and KS4 grief and supporting a friend.

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KS1 · ages 5 to 745 minutesPSHE / RSHE

Life cycles and change

Aims

Know that all living things are born, grow, change and die
Understand what 'dead' means: the body stops working and can't start again
Name some feelings people have when something changes or someone dies
Know which adults they can talk to

You'll need

A growing plant and a dead flower or dry leaf
Pictures of a tree in each season
A gentle picture book about a life cycle or about death
Paper and crayons

The lesson

45 minutes in all

5min
0–5 min
Circle time: what grows?
Pass round the growing plant. What does it need to live? Water, light, food. List ideas together.
10min
5–15 min
The seasons tree
In pairs, put the four tree pictures in order. Talk about how the tree changes: leaves grow, change colour, fall. Some things come back each year, and some don't.
10min
15–25 min
Alive or dead?
Compare the living plant and the dead leaf. The living plant can grow and drink. The dead leaf can't: it doesn't grow, need water or feel anything, and it can't become alive again. Use the words 'dead' and 'died' plainly.
10min
25–35 min
Story time
Read the picture book. Ask: how did the characters feel? What helped them?
7min
35–42 min
Feelings and helpers
Children draw a face for a feeling from the story, and a grown-up they could talk to. Share a few.
3min
42–45 min
Calm close
Three slow breaths together. Remind them they can ask you questions any time.

Before you teach it

Before teaching, check pupil records for recent bereavements, including pets. Tell those families and pupils about the lesson in advance and offer a choice to sit it out or join with a trusted adult. Have a second adult available afterwards, and let parents know the lesson happened so they can pick up questions at home.

KS2 · ages 7 to 1160 minutesPSHE / RSHE

Feelings when things change and when people die

Aims

Recognise that change and loss are part of everyone's life
Describe a range of feelings, including mixed feelings, linked to loss
Understand that grief comes and goes, and that life grows around it
Know practical ways to help themselves and a friend, and where to get help

You'll need

Large paper for a class timeline
Feelings word cards
A jar, a large ball and some smaller balls or scrunched paper
Sticky notes and a worry box

The lesson

60 minutes in all

5min
0–5 min
Ground rules
Agree: we listen, we don't laugh at anyone's feelings, we don't share other people's stories, and we can pass. Point out the quiet corner.
10min
5–15 min
Changes timeline
As a class, list changes people go through: new baby, moving house, new school, pet dying, someone moving away. Which are big? Which are small? Notice that the same change can feel different to different people.
10min
15–25 min
Feelings sort
In groups, sort feelings cards for a change like moving house. Discuss mixed feelings: excited and sad at the same time. Introduce grief as the word for the feelings when someone or something we love dies.
10min
25–35 min
Growing around grief
Put a big ball in the jar: that's grief, and at first it fills everything. Add smaller balls for friends, hobbies, school and fun. The grief doesn't shrink, but life grows around it, so there's room for other things too.
10min
35–45 min
True or not true?
Talk through statements: 'Boys shouldn't cry' (not true); 'It's OK to laugh after someone dies' (true); 'Grief is over after a few weeks' (not true); 'You can catch dying' (not true).
10min
45–55 min
Helping a friend
Pairs write one thing they could do or say to help a friend whose grandparent died. Share and collect. Point out that being normal with them and including them is often best.
5min
55–60 min
Calm close
A breathing exercise. Remind them of the worry box and who they can talk to.

Before you teach it

Pre-warn any pupil who is bereaved, and their family, and offer an opt-out or an alternative activity with a known adult. Never ask pupils to share their own losses in front of the class. Have a follow-up adult free for the rest of the session, and read the worry box the same day.

KS3 and KS4 · ages 11 to 1660 minutesPSHE / RSHE

Grief, coping and supporting a friend

Aims

Understand grief as a normal response to loss that affects feelings, body, thinking and behaviour
Challenge common myths about how grief should look or how long it lasts
Know healthy and unhealthy ways of coping
Know how to support a grieving friend, including online, and when to tell an adult

You'll need

Slides or board for myths and facts
Printed scenario cards (four or five)
A list of help on the board or a handout
Sticky notes for anonymous questions

The lesson

60 minutes in all

5min
0–5 min
Set the space
Explain the topic, ground rules, and that anyone can step out without explaining. Show where the help list is.
10min
5–15 min
What is grief?
Mind-map what grief can affect: sleep, appetite, concentration, anger, guilt, numbness. Note that grief also follows break-ups, moving and pets, and that grieving people often hide it to fit in.
10min
15–25 min
Myth or fact?
Discuss: 'There are five stages in order' (myth: grief is messy and recurs); 'If you're not crying, you didn't care' (myth); 'It's normal to feel grief again years later' (fact).
10min
25–35 min
Coping: back and forth
Explain that healthy grieving moves between facing the loss and taking breaks from it. Sort coping ideas into helpful (talking, music, exercise, routine) and risky (drinking, isolating, risk-taking).
15min
35–50 min
Supporting a friend
In groups, work through scenarios: a friend's dad has died and they're back at school; someone is posting rumours online; a friend says they don't see the point of anything. What would you say? What would you avoid?
7min
50–57 min
When to tell an adult
Be clear: if a friend talks about wanting to die or hurting themselves, you must tell an adult, even if they ask you not to. That's being a good friend. Go through the help list.
3min
57–60 min
Close
Collect anonymous questions on sticky notes to answer next lesson. Remind pupils where they can go today.

Before you teach it

Pre-warn bereaved pupils and their families, and offer a genuine opt-out with somewhere to go. Tell the DSL the lesson is happening, and have a follow-up adult available for the rest of the day. Read the anonymous questions the same day: if any suggest someone isn't safe, follow your safeguarding procedure. Include Childline (0800 1111), Shout (Text SHOUT to 85258) and Papyrus HOPELINEUK (0800 068 4141) on the help list.

Teaching these lessons

What if a pupil gets upset during the lesson?

Acknowledge it calmly, offer the quiet space or the second adult, and carry on with the class. Check in privately afterwards. Tears are not a sign the lesson went wrong.

What if a pupil discloses something?

Listen, don't promise secrecy, and follow your safeguarding procedure. Thank them for telling you.

Should I teach this if a pupil was bereaved recently?

Talk to the family first. Sometimes it helps to wait a few weeks; sometimes the pupil wants classmates to understand. Never teach it as a surprise.

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