When grief gets stuck

Most children, even after very hard deaths, find their way through grief with the support of caring adults.

A smaller number develop traumatic grief. The frightening way the person died gets in the way: even happy memories bring back the horror. This doesn't fade on its own, and specialist help works.

Signs include nightmares and flashbacks, avoiding every reminder, being jumpy and easily startled, going numb, or blaming themselves.

If your child froze during a frightening event, they may feel ashamed. Tell them the body freezes to protect us. It's not weakness.

Ask your GP or doctor for a referral to a child trauma specialist. Approaches such as trauma-focused CBT have good evidence.