Should my child go to the funeral?

Children who are prepared and given a choice generally do better than those who are kept away. In one set of families, children kept from their baby brother's memorial said years later that they wished they had gone.

Before the day, explain exactly what will happen: where, who'll be there, what the coffin or urn looks like, that people may cry.

Let them choose how much to do: come to all of it, part of it, or none. Never make a child touch the body or go near the coffin.

Give them a job if they want one: choosing a song, placing a drawing, handing out programmes.

Ask one trusted adult to stay with them, and to take them out if they want to leave.